The Best I can do...


The best I can do is give my teens as much information and resources I can on any topic and then be unconditionally available without judgment. I try to choose positive intent with my kids first. There are so many fears in this world regarding sex, alcohol, drugs,etc. At some point I have to let it be their experience knowing I did my very best to prepare them. Control, forcing, or forbidding is not part of respectful parenting...period.

Got our annual mother's day planting done ~

I couldn't find my phone  but as usually I will get growth pics through out the growing season. This year we got planted...


Front 5 beds ~
mammoth sunflowers          calendula
echinacea purpurea             lemon cucumber
tiger melon                          cherry tomatoes
black tomatoes                   potatoes
butterscotch beans             onions left from winter
lettuce left from                  basil
oregano                             chives
weed vine                          carrots from winter
Danyelle lettuce

we also have roses, a apple tree & strawberry patch in the front.

Side bed (10x30) ~
giant black diamond watermelon     jubilee tomato
cantaloupe                                     yellow melon
striped roman  tomato                    golden dewlicious melon
beefsteak tomato

bkyd 2 beds ~
scarlet emperor beans                   black & white beans
yolo wonder peppers                    cucumber
bell pepper                                    black beauty zucchini
big max pumpkin                           butternut squash
delicata squash                              howden pumpkin


I still have a greenhouse full of starts but a lot of them will be sold at the farmer's market. I will take pics one stuff starts coming up :)





How I Save My Marriage by Changing Me♥ Part 2

How I Save My Marriage by Changing Me♥ Part 2



I wrote this as response to some emails and comments to my last post ;)


The place and time it changed for me is when I learned how to apply the Law of Attraction (LoA) to my relationships. The Love Language book was a wonderful tool I believe I attracted as I applied the principles of LoA. I too had some personal hang ups as well. To be blunt though we attract these behaviors from our husbands by concentrating on them. My husband is a yeller too. Recognizing his love language was just part of it. I had to start applying LoA to my marriage by healing ME first. One of my favorite quotes or saying is “Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the ONE I can, and the wisdom to know it's ME.” Saving my marriage had nothing to do with my husband and everything to do with me. The only way I know how to do this was by applying LoA principles. This is how I live my life now. It saved just not my relationship with my husband but other relationships. When I look into any relationship now I choose my connection with them, I choose to see only the things we have in common that I can build on. I choose only to assume positive intent.
So what does this look like? Well first I started applying things I found helpful in books and movies. I watched “the Secret” and Louise Hay's movie too. The whole last part of the Hicks book Ask and it is Given has games and tools I applied as well. I also did Louise Hay's book and workbook You Can Heal your Life. So the tools I took from these books movies was the use of affirmations, vision board, gratitude rocks and journal writing first. So I put affirmations around my bathroom mirror, my time out space, even my van. Every morning, every night, every time I walked by them I would say them out loud. I would write them in my journal filling pages. I even put them on my vision board. I filled my vision board with how I wanted my life. This included my relationships. On my board I had the affirmation “the more I love the more I am loved” and “I speak with Love” and “ I am loving light”. I had these affirmations in the middle then pictures of the relationships I wanted to heal. I spent every morning and every night taking time to visualize this life. Journal writing was an amazing tool as well. Every morning I would journal write. Not a bitch session but a gratitude session. I wrote ten things I loved about my husband. At first it was hard because I actually had hatred for him. So it was something like...


like tattoo

has job

blue eyes

can grow tomatoes

good handyman

good make up sex

etc.
I am not kidding this is from one of my journal entries lmao.


He was very verbally abusive. He was verbally abused as a child as well. We are all victims of victims. But little by little he got softer and softer. It took awhile because I was working through some issues of my own. I noticed the more I healed MYSELF the more good days I attracted with him. I used my pass baggage as an excuse to stay stuck in the pass. I was taught in school while getting my pych degree to diagnose and examine broken relationships in the pass. It wasn't until my last year of school that I learned about LoA did I change my whole perspective on psychology. All my exiting projects were done on LoA principles. Shit happens...sometimes horrific shit. WE choose how these experiences will define us. At the time I had attracted my husband I was in a place of self pity. I had a very low self esteem feeling very undeserving of the good things of life. So naturally I attracted a husband that told me so. When we change the way we see and love ourselves the Universe can only accommodate those beliefs. It is all about what I MYSELF bring to the marriage and NOTHING to do with my husband. If I have a fight with my husband it is all me. It is hard to swallow or accept. It is not a blame game it is about vibration.

Love and Blessing,
Jen♥

How I saved my marriage by changing ME♥

 
 

How I saved my marriage by changing ME♥

Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,

the courage to change the ONE I can,

and the wisdom to know it's ME ♥

 

I am so appreciative for all the awesome Facebook groups there are today. I absolutely love my Radical Unschooling (RU) and Law of Attraction (LoA)groups that keep my on track with were I want to be. Recently the topics of husbands has came up in more than one of these groups. Some on how to get husbands to agree to RU and a few on addictions. I actually was asked directly by a few. I think that maybe I was a little misleading in my nonchalant responses so I wanted to do a quick post.
 
 
I apply LoA to all aspects of my life my work, my kids, and my husband. LoA is working in all areas of life all the time. This law never takes a break. The principle of LoA is no different than the law of gravity. We don”t see pigs flying one day because gravity took a day off or some how gravity didn't apply to pigs. All the time LoA is in constant vibration to everything because everything is energy...including our husbands ♥
 
 
So lets apply this to our husbands. Let's apply this to addiction right now. What is addiction? The dictionary definition is “the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.” Well according to this definition ANYTHING can be an addiction. It is all about perspective and if we are willing to let go of our control. We must remember we are all spirits here to have human experiences. Each one of us is here to have our own experiences including our children and our husbands. We have no right to force our beliefs or experiences onto anyone else including members of our family. Our mind and body are one. If we do not have balance in our minds we cannot have balance in our bodies, this is true with addictions. Once upon a time I smoked and quite but my husband choose to keep on smoking for awhile. He also choose to drink among other things. It drove me crazy. I wanted to control him into quitting; I felt these habits made him a monster in ways but in actuality it was my bitching that made him the monster. I did not see it this way I only saw his habits as wrong and I was going to change him into who I thought he should be. Well the bitching and forcing made him a drunk, smoking addict. This is all I CHOSE to see. So I started calling divorce lawyers. About a week later I met a new friend that introduced me to LoA and RU. She was my seed♥ I started changing the way I saw the world, my experiences, my children, and my husband. I started reading all the LoA books I could. About a month later I read a Hicks book “Ask and it is Given,”which had tips and games at the end. I started using them on a daily bases and still do today...five years later. I also found that same week this YouTube video by Lilou Mace on “100 day challenge.” vlogs. Her and two of her friends had started a website where you applied LoA philosophy to an area of your life for 100 days and did weekly vlogs on how you were doing and so on. I loved this idea but did not do the vlogs. I don't even think I did it for the 100 days. I think It was a matter of maybe 6 wks that my life had dramatically changed. I had even choose to do my research projects in my psychology classes on LoA and RU. I read another book called the Five Love Languages. I did a paper on it for a psych class. I had an understanding of my relationships that change the whole vibration of our family. I discovered that one of my husband's “love languages” was touch...well sex. We had a lot of sex. Just not sex but my language towards him was sexual as well. It was crazy. I could change his bad mood just with some perverted words...it was awesome. With in the year he had quite most everything I had hated before with out me bitching. I started to CHOSE to see all his awesomeness. I had saved our marriage by changing ME♥
I was asked in a RU group how could I LET my husband parent differently than me. So I posted this...

“So my husband is not on the same page when it comes to somethings. I have had people ask me why I “allow” my husband to parent differently than I do. I want to clear this up. Unschooling is a FAMILY thing. When my husband and I got married we had most of the same beliefs. However, I changed through yrs and yrs of schooling in psychology and my own research while being able to apply them and adjust. My husband is not on the same path. He does not have hrs to research or apply things the way I do cause he works outside the home right now. I can no more force him to parent my way anymore than I can force my children in their path. This does not mean I just let him beat at the kids or anything ;) We have agreed not to punish although we have slipped out of anger sometimes and have sent kiddos to their rooms (with tvs and games ;) instead of taking a time out ourselves. But he is getting better everyday. We now have locks on our room and closet filled with affirmations for parent time outs lol. I choose to look at how far he has come instead of how far he has to go. He went from a strict asshole that “I” didn't even want to be with to an amazing man who has grown so very much in the past 4 yrs. Not because HE changed but because I did. We are told to model how we want our children to act. So if we want them to clean joyfully we must, If we want them to be respectful we must show them respect, this is no different for our partners. Instead of constant bitching at my husband that he shouldn't yell, he shouldn't force chores, etc. I must walk the talk.

Humor is huge when it comes to parenting and marriage. I leave little articles in the bathroom for my husband knowing he takes a lot of his time outs on the pot lol. My husband is um well a very sexual man hahaha. So we use a lot of sexual humor to lighten stressful experiences (lol yes I know my poor children hahaha). This is a language my husband relates to the best. So when I see him getting on the kids or stressed out I use this humor with him and it always seems to lighten his mood. I know I am going to get a lot of crap for this but I bribe my husband too. Well I don't know if it is actually bribing then a creative persuasion game; but anyways for every “mamma book” he reads he gets um treats ;).

I guess my point of this ramble is that unschooling is not an all or nothing thing. I make it my goal everyday to be as close to as respectful and loving as possible for TODAY. Keep humor in it and think outside the box. How we unschool our children applies to our partners too. Unschooling is not an overnight thing. It is an ongoing process of daily love and respect. I honestly do not believe in a “deschooling” period. Our families are in constant change as our children and ourselves are always changing and growing. We must be willing to adjust and bend with each experience of change. Unschooling is just another label. A respectful connecting partnership is my goal that I take day by day. I do not worry about making mistakes because they are proof I am learning too. I take “mistakes” as an opportunity to reconnect with my husband or children. I remember it only takes a change of though to realign with love♥”
Some books that got me on the right track...
  • You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay (book & workbook)
  • Ask and It Is Given by Ester and Jerry Hicks (part two are games and tools I have used even today♥
  • Radical Unschooling by Dayna Martin
  • The Daily Groove by Scott Noelle
  • Respectful Parents Respectful Kids by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson
Some other LoA tools I use...
  • Meditation
  • Affirmations
  • Journaling
  • Vision Boards






Art Work Wall Paper♥

Art Work Wall Paper♥
 
I have been running out of fridge door space. I can't seem to find enough room to display the kiddos art work they are so proud of. So I got creative ;)
 
 
Before


After. We put some glow in the dark stencil on the black concrete wall too.

 Alex madd a "fort" under the ladder. He told me to "click" him up on the ladder ;)

 


Mother's Day 2013


Mother's Day 2013

So we didn't celebrate Pascha this year. So for mother's day I made baklava and spanakopita triangles. I swear these are my favorite foods! We ended up going to two parks lol First we went to Sun Lake state park for our picnic then stopped by Soap Lake park so the kids could get some time on the swings. Even got a video of everyone on a swing...even dad♥





Baklava

Spanakopita triangles

Can you see the baby geese?

Sun Lake Park
 
 


Different Pages in the Same Book♥



Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the ONE I can,
and the wisdom to know it's ME ♥ 
 So my husband is not on the same page when it comes to somethings. I have had people ask me why I “allow” my husband to parent differently than I do. I want to clear this up. Unschooling is a FAMILY thing. When my husband and I got married we had most of the same beliefs. However, I changed through yrs and yrs of schooling in psychology and my own research while being able to apply them and adjust. My husband is not on the same path. He does not have hrs to research or apply things the way I do cause he works outside the home right now. I can no more force him to parent my way anymore than I can force my children in their path. This does not mean I just let him beat at the kids or anything ;) We have agreed not to punish although we have slipped out of anger sometimes and have sent kiddos to their rooms (with tvs and games ;) instead of taking a time out ourselves. But he is getting better everyday. We now have locks on our room and closet filled with affirmations for parent time outs lol. I choose to look at how far he has come instead of how far he has to go. He went from a strict asshole that “I” didn't even want to be with to an amazing man who has grown so very much in the past 4 yrs. Not because HE changed but because I did. We are told to model how we want our children to act. So if we want them to clean joyfully we must, If we want them to be respectful we must show them respect, this is no different for our partners. Instead of constant bitching at my husband that he shouldn't yell, he shouldn't force chores, etc. I must walk the talk.

Humor is huge when it comes to parenting and marriage. I leave little articles in the bathroom for my husband knowing he takes a lot of his time outs on the pot lol. My husband is um well a very sexual man hahaha. So we use a lot of sexual humor to lighten stressful experiences (lol yes I know my poor children hahaha). This is a language my husband relates too the best. So when I see him getting on the kids or stressed out I use this humor with him and it always seems to lighten his mood. I know I am going to get a lot of crap for this but I bribe my husband too. Well I don't know if it is actually bribing then a game but anyways for every “mamma book” he reads he gets um treats ;).

I guess my point of this ramble is that unschooling is not an all or nothing thing. I make it my goal everyday to be as close to as respectful and loving as possible for TODAY. Keep humor in it and think outside the box. How we unschool our children applies to our partners too. Unschooling is not an overnight thing. It is an ongoing process of daily love and respect. I honestly do not believe in a “deschooling” period. Our families are in constant change as our children and ourselves are always changing and growing. We must be willing to adjust and bend with each expedience of change.
 
Peace & Love,
Jen♥